So, I’m going to just come out and say it…I fell down the rabbit hole last week and got really down on myself. I caught a cold that really limited my productivity and had me feeling super sluggish and unmotivated.

I spent more time than normal scrolling through social media and going down the rabbit hole real hard. After the first day of being sick, I started feeling really not good…not just cold wise, but about myself. And then feeling even worse because I felt so guilty of these feelings because of the values that I believe in and share regularly–self love, positive body image, happiness, positive thinking, etc. And here I was, feeling horrible about myself. Horrible. And the more I scrolled, the worse I felt. I would find person after person who was doing so much more than I was, who had everything figured out, who had the perfect set-up, perfect body, etc. 

To make matters worse, I went into my first casting call of the week with this same horrible mindset and feeling. I sat looking at the other girls’ portfolios and their amazingly beautiful images and couldn’t help but wonder how I even got called in to this casting. Was it a mistake? I clearly don’t have the images that these girls have. How do I ever even get booked if other girls are out there with portfolios like THIS? It was bad….I sent myself in a downward spiral before I even stopped to realize what I had done. I kept feeding myself with negative self-talk and I left the casting feeling totally defeated.

I had a shoot the next day and with the state my mind was in, I felt totally unprepared. I started to worry and freak out that I wasn’t going to be good enough or I might mess up, or I wouldn’t know what to do. All of these thoughts flooded my mind, and that’s when I realized how far I had let this thing go… WOW. Talk about some horrible self-talk! I would NEVER talk to a friend this way, so WHY was I talking to myself like this?

I’m a self-love and total positive body-image advocate. I think everyone should be comfortable in their own skin and happy with their bodies and lives, no matter what size, shape, or situation! I 100% believe it and live it, but that doesn’t mean that I’m completely immune to negative thoughts and triggers. It doesn’t happen regularly and I’m usually pretty good at catching myself when it does and re-directing my thoughts but this one just snuck up on me. It happens to us all.

After sitting down and pulling myself out of this nasty, self-defeating funk, I realized a few things that might help if you find yourself in this same nasty place. If you find that you’re comparing yourself to others, remember number one–this is NOT healthy and it will never lead to any good. So just stop it before you fall down the rabbit hole of misery. There is no need to compare yourself to anyone else. We are all unique and we all move at our pace.

And number two, you have to remember that when you’re looking at someone who’s further along than you and comparing yourself to them, you’re comparing their middle/end goal to your own beginning. Chances are that they’ve been working at it a lot longer than you and you’re just looking at the finished product of that. Comparing a finished product to a messy beginning (because all beginnings are messy until we figure things out) will never lead to any good. You’ll just get down on yourself and it could even halt the progress you are making.

The fact that you’re working towards anything is a HUGE reason to celebrate! It takes a lot of effort, time and drive to go after something that you want, but you’re doing it! So pat yourself on the back and know that you’re heading in the right direction.

If you fell down the rabbit hole like I did, don’t let that deter you from continuing to move forward. Pull yourself out of it and realize that you rock and there’s no one else just like YOU! Don’t stop moving forward. Once you stop, you lose the momentum you’ve built up and it becomes that much harder to start all over again.

Here’s a few thing that I did to pull myself out of this no-good, self-pity party that I had going on last week. Maybe they’ll help you too!

1. Realize what you’re doing and STOP IT RIGHT NOW. Easier said than done I know, but the more you can realize that you’re self-talk is becoming negative, the quicker you can nip in the butt before it turns into a huge, hairy monster.

2. Make a list of everything going RIGHT in your life right now & focus on that only. Focus on everything that you’re so incredibly blessed to have, instead of everything that you think you lack. There are a million and one reasons to celebrate and be happy. Stop to take a minute and realize how much you have to be grateful for. Sometimes I even pull out a pen & paper and make an actual, physical list. I list everything until I can’t think of anything else…and then I take a minute and list some more 🙂

3. Don’t compare yourself or your situation to anyone else. It can be easy to find yourself doing this (sometimes without even realizing that you’re doing it) but try to be conscious of when this happens and stop yourself. This is your life, your story, and you get to write it however you want. Do you want to write a negative, poor-me type of story? I know that I don’t! Be ready to put in the work to get there and know that you’re on your way.

4. Know that you know what to do and you got this! You know where you’re heading, so never lose sight of that. (And if you don’t know where you’re heading, that’s okay too–just stop and take some time to really figure out where you want to be and what you want to be doing. This alone will make you feel better.) Stoping to see where others are and comparing your progress will only deter you from getting to where you want to be. Just keep moving forward.

5. Stop & take a deep breath. Take a minute to stop, take some deep breaths and re-direct your mind and your thoughts back to the positive, happy side. If you have a mantra, use it now on repeat and let it push out all of those nasty, negative thoughts.  

Hopefully these help you like they help me. If you find yourself feeling down & out, stop & realize what’s going on. Are you using negative self-talk? Are you comparing yourself to others? What are you doing to contribute to this nasty feeling? Realizing what’s going on is huge. Once you realize, you can begin using the steps above to pull yourself back to your happy, healthy, fun, loving self!

If you have any questions, I’m always here for you! Keep your thoughts positive and your self-talk encouraging!

You totally ROCK! So don’t forget that! 😉

Until next time,

Xoxo

Ashley